Better late....

Well... I am a little late on this post, I have been very busy being MOMMY!!

So I would like to announce to the blogger world the arrival of our son, Nolan Fletcher Lamont Remington. Born September 10th, 2012 at 6:44pm. He was 5 pounds 10 ounces and 19 inches long.

We are so happy he is here. I wouldn't take back on struggle, penny, or tear for him. As for the birth story. I was induced at 3pm on Sunday, September 9th. My doctors felt confident we would have him no later then Monday afternoon. I was nervous going to the hospital that day. I had so many mixed emotions. This was not how I ever thought I would do the whole bringing a baby into the world thing. But, as I had learned over the last few years, there was just some things I could not control. This was the best thing for not only Nolan, but me. We had gone over all the options, and this was what was the safest for both of us at this point. Craig and I spent Sunday at the hospital by ourselves. Taking time to enjoy one another in our last hours as just us. We watched movies, talked, laughed, held hands as we starred at the fetal heart monitor. They wanted me to rest as much as possible. I tried to get as much sleep as I could Sunday night. (As much as you can while in labor) At 6am our good friend Brittany started her shift. She had taken this shift just to deliver Nolan :) She came in, and got me hooked up to the pitocin. At 7:30am my Dr. came in and broke my water, and at 8:30am I had an epidural. I thought I was going to be able to go longer without one, but my blood pressure was already climbing. It was a long day. We waited, waited and waited some more. I was having horrible back labor, which an epidural doesn't help much with. I was having so much pressure in my lower back but I was not dilating. By 3 pm I was only to a 4. They turned up the pitocin after talking to me about it. During the next few hours my blood pressure climbed, and Nolans heart rate kept dropping. I was moved into several different positions. At 5:15 my Dr came back to talk to me. She checked me again, still at a 4. She could feel Nolans head try to push out with every contraction, and would watch his heart rate drop. She said she felt pretty confident that Nolan was face up instead of face down, and that the cord was around his neck. She knew I did not want a c section, so she explained to me that at this point she could not force me to have one, but that I have stopped progressing, and my blood pressure is getting into a danger zone, and that Nolan is in distress. She said she could let me keep trying until I needed an emergency c section, or we could just go do it now and get him out and my blood pressure under control. Craig and I talked about it, and decided that it would be selfish to put Nolan in any possible danger, so I agreed to go ahead and do the c section now. As they were wheeling me into the OR I shifted and pulled out my epidural. So they had to re do my whole epidural and wait for it to numb me up high enough. Once that was ready to go they started the removal of Nolan. Where they cut you for a c section is where your babies sholders should be. When my Dr cut me open and got to the placenta and cut, she had baby Nolan looking right up at her. She said that was the first time she had ever seen that during one of her c ssections. The cord was around his little neck, so they pulled that off, pulled him out and cut the cord at 6:44 pm. ( I was super sad Craig couldn't cut the cord, but with c sections things must stay sterile) He cried instantly, which made me feel so much better since while they were taking me to the OR they introduce you to the team that will make your baby breathe since it is common for them to not breathe at first with c sections. Nolan wa perfectly healthly. Craig was in love and so proud. I finally got to hold my angel at 9:05pm. My life felt so fulfilled with him in my arms.

On the way to the operating room.

I love you Nolan. Thank you for making my wishes come true.

 

The end is near.

Looks like baby Nolan will be joining us in a few short days. I am scheduled to be induced the evening of September 9th. Little Nolan is expected to arrive sometime on Monday the 10th. It's so surreal knowing an exact date... the end is near, and is coming if I am ready or not.

I am having mixed feelings about being induced. It is not at all how I had planned out my birth experience in my head. But then again, nothing about me getting pregnant, or being pregnant has lived out according to my plans. But this whole journey has taught me something that I probably needed a little assistance in. I can not control everything that happens. Even though this is something that I have strived to do my whole life, I have learned the reality of it is life doesn't work that way. I don't get to call the shots for everything, and sometimes, you just have to go with the flow. It's a hard pill to swallow coming from someone like me. And I have fought this battle with all my strength to only learn that sometimes you just have to let go. (My husband would be proud to hear me say that.) Craig and I have always had a plan. We have done things exactly how we thought would be best in our life. We were high school sweethearts who refused to get married right out of high school so we could do things in a certain order. Have fun, grow up and learn together, work hard, buy cars and a home of our own, get married, go on a dream honeymoon, and the day we were ready we would have a baby, no problems, no questions, no heartache. It would just happen all according to plan... I always got my way, and had things work out how I has visioned.... until of course that last step. Health problems, and struggles changed everything. I have a had a hard time accepting a lot of things about all this. How exactly it was fair, or warranted. What I had done to be put in this situation. But, shit happens. It sucks... but it happens, and it will happen to anyone, and any moment, if you "deserve it" or not. Life IS NOT fair. Bad things happen to good people... and good things sometimes fall into bad peoples laps. It's shitty... I hate it. But I have come to terms with the fact that, that is just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.  So as much as I didn't want health problems before pregnancy, or to struggle getting pregnant, or have a high risk pregnancy, and modified bed rest, and an early induction.... that is just how it is. There was nothing I could do in my power to change a thing about it. Those that have been close during this pregnancy have had to shake their heads at me several times reminding me that the fight I was putting up about various things was not a fight I was going to win. This was my moment in life where letting go is what was required. And with a child that will soon be in my life, this is probably a lesson well timed... since I have been told that children will show you, that you are not always in control. Every moment can not be planned out and kept. Sometimes your blueprint needs to be modified.

Craig and I can not wait to meet our son. He is a blessing in our life and I am honored that I get to be his mother. He will grow up around so many wonderful people that love him so much already. If there is one thing that I can promise him, it is that. He will be loved.



 

35 Weeks - What Doesn't Kill Us, Only Makes Us Stronger

Today I hit my 35 week mark. Yay! The last month has been very hectic, and interesting. So let me fill you in... It's been one thing after another. At 32 weeks 1 day, I was at work and I kept feeling like I was leaking something. I would go to the bathroom and sure enough my panty liner was soaked. So I thought maybe I peed a little (hey, it can happen when you have a baby using you organs as a tramp). So I changed my liner and went back to my desk. Twenty minutes later I felt soaked again, so I went back and checked and sure enough another one was soaked. I changed it again and just tried to focus on something else. I did this two more times before I became concerned. I called my OB, and told them what had happened. They asked me to go to labor and delivery right away. So I left work and heading to the hospital. When I got there they checked me with a swab that turns blue if it is positive for amniotic fluid. It was blue... yikes. They ordered a ferning test which they use to confirm and called an ultrasound tech to my room. At this point I knew something wasn't right so I called Craig and told him he might want to leave work too. He came right away, he was very worried. The ferning test came out positive, and the ultrasound test showed a lower amount of amniotic fluid. My OB came in and told us that I had a small rupture, and since I was still too early for a safe delivery they would need to transfer me to a hospital with a level 4 nicu. They gave me a steroid shot, and hooked me up to antibiotics, and put me in an ambulance to take me to St. Marks. They wouldn't let anyone come with me in the ambulance, so Craig was really scared and worried. When I got to St. Marks they put me right into a labor and delivery room to monitor me. A neo natal specialist (who I have been seeing my whole pregnancy because of my pre existing high blood pressure) came in to talk to me and explain what will happen with Nolan if he delivers in the next few days, and that they needed to try and keep him in there until at least 34 weeks. We waited out the night, and thankfully, there was no more leaking, just a little blood spotting here and there. The next morning they brought in a specialist for ultrasounds to see if they could find the leak. Thank God the rupture they found was very small. They said that with some antibiotics it would heal itself. They released me to go home and rest later that afternoon. My doctor now has me on modified bed rest, so I can only work 4 hours a day. Our next adventure happened last week at my 34 week mark. I started having horrible horrible back and stomach pains. No matter what I did, they got worse. I called my OB and they told me to go to labor and delivery so they could check me out and make sure I wasn't going into pre term labor. I couldn't sit still I was hurting so bad, and I couldn't stop throwing up. They hooked me up to an IV with fluids, and stuff to make me stop throwing up. They were watching for contractions, which I was having, but not hard enough to cause me to have the pain I was having. So they brought in an ultrasound tech too see if we could find the problem while they were waiting on blood work. They checked the baby and the placenta first, which were both fine. So they started looking around. The tech then saw that my gallbladder was inflamed, and full of sludge. Blood work confirmed it was all my gallbladder. They called the general surgeon to come see me, and got me some pain medication. After they got me checked out they explained that at this stage in my pregnancy, they could not take the gallbladder out without delivery the baby, and that if they could avoid delivering him they would do that. We decided we would manage my pain until we could get Nolan out safely without needed a ton of medical care. So they managed my pain for two nights in the hospital. I am now home with medication to take to keep the edge off. We have scheduled me to be induced on September 9th, which will put me at 37 weeks.So I juts have to tough it out for two weeks. I can do this. This pregnancy has been truly interesting. It will be so worth it when our son is here. I can't wait to hold him and love him.

31 Weeks

31 weeks 2 days. I really still feel like all of this is so unreal. I can't believe we will be having a baby in just a few short months. There is just under 9 weeks until my due date. Per my doctor at this point I will be delivering no later then my 38th week by induction. This is really not how I wanted to do things as I had dreamed them up, but due to health issues, we have to do what we have to do. My blood pressure has been really back and fourth this whole time, at points reaching very unsafe, and scary levels. I am maxed out on every medication that I can take during pregnancy, totaling three different medications, of which I am taking medication seven times a day. I have battled chronic hypertension for many, many years now, and unfortunately pregnancy is not kind to a disease of this sort. Nolan is doing great though, which puts my heart at ease. I don't know what I would do if this was effecting him. But, for mommas safety, my OB and my Maternal Fetal Specialist have both agreed that my induction will be scheduled between my 37-38 week of pregnancy. So that moves Mr. Nolans arrival from October 1st, to no later then September 17th. I have been assured that he will be just fine at this point, so I have agreed to do what needs to be done. I am feeling okay. Some days are much worse then others. I am uncomfortable all the time... and I understand that will not get any better until the end :) My morning sickness came back, which sucks. I am down 11 pounds from the start. He is growing well, just making mom sick. Little stinker! I have not been sleeping well at all. I am tired all the time, and could take several naps throughout the day... I am sure working 40 hours a week is not helping that either. We are just awaiting our little mans arrival. The journey will be so rewarding in the end, and I can't wait to meet our son.

Home Stretch

28 Weeks 2 Days! I am into my third and final trimester. I have so many emotions going on right now. I am beyond excited to meet my son, Nolan. But I also have some fear, anxiety, and a little stress that is tumbling around. I have read this is normal, but I never thought it was actually going to happen. I am not sleeping well. Between the peeing marathons, thinking non stop, Mr. Nolan's mid-night dance parties, and just plain being uncomfortable, it has taken a toll on my sleeping schedule. I have found it is easier to sleep on the couch on the reclining areas, but then I miss my husband. I am still craving a lot of fruit. Anything cold. I actually HATED watermelon before I got pregnant, and now, I can't get enough of it. Also, my sun tea over ice. Yep. Makes me happy. I also love chicken. It's pretty much the only meat I can eat. Red meat still makes my stomach turn. I am pretty much over the throwing up, unless I get too hot, or dizzy from my blood pressure. I am super sensitive to the sun this year. I have always gotten really dark in the summer. This year... no. Within minutes I am burning. I make sure to put some sun screen on everyday, because I have learned my lesson several times already. I have not started Nolan's room yet. We do have the crib, dresser, rocking chair, and side table. We just finished up a complete upstairs bathroom remodel (which turned out BEAUTIFUL. My husband is very talented). So now I can start on his room. We are doing it in baseball, which is very fitting with his name :) The colors are red, white, blue and greens. I am excited to put it all together. Good thing I have Caitlin's help so I don't have any melt downs. I have been seeing my OB every two weeks for the last month, and the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist every 4 weeks. Starting at 32 weeks I will see my OB weekly and the specialist every two weeks. They are monitoring me, and Nolan very close because of my blood pressure. So far Nolan is happy, mom is just struggling with battling the blood pressure. I am trying to work up until he is born, but the fight I am putting up may soon come to an end if the blood pressure continues to climb. When I look down my toes are starting to disappear. It amazes me how much my body changes from day to day. Nolan kicks harder and harder everyday that passes. I am starting to be able to tell which body part is moving across my stomach when he stretches or shifts. I have started to get Braxton Hicks which freaked me out the first time I noticed. My feet have grown about a 1/2 a size. I am still down about 6 pounds from pre pregnancy. At one point I was down 16 pounds so I have started to make up my loses. I can not fit into my regular jeans anymore unless they are unbuttoned and unzipped. Even then, I find them kind of uncomfortable. I am ALWAYS hot. Not matter what I am doing or where I am. Craig and I are both very excited to welcome out little guy into the world, and for him to meet all the wonderful people in our lives. I can't wait to kiss your face, Nolan!

So I am now 25 weeks and 2 days into this pregnancy. I have noticed that the end has slowed down so much from the beginning. It has been a whirlwind of emotions, changes, and doctor appointments. I feel truly blessed to get to have this experience, and I am trying to enjoy every moment of it... even the not so enjoyable things!

My blood pressure continues to be an issue as we thought it would be. I am sick of playing prescription roulette, but know how important it is to keep this under control the best we can. For my sake, and for Nolan's. I am still being monitored by my OB, and a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist. My appointments with the specialist are long, and exhausting. They monitor the baby, to assure he is not stressed, and has good blood flow in and out of his umbilical cord. I will continue to have an ultrasound every month until the end at this point to watch babies weight. A risk of high blood pressure in pregnancy is low birth weight babies, so they watch this very closely to make sure he is growing on track. As of now, he is a little ahead of schedule on weight, so we will take it. Here is a look at the most recent ultrasound from yesterday.


I love this little guy so much. I can't wait to meet him and give him kisses.

As of today I haven't gained any weight from pre pregnancy. I lost a lot at first because I was sick, and just didn't have much of an appetite. I have put back on some of the weight I have lost from the beginning, but I have not caught back up yet. I am very uncomfortable at night. I toss and turn and have to get up a lot. Nolan is most active late at night too, which makes sleeping a little harder. I can not wear my normal pants anymore, so I had to invest in some maternity pants. I crave anything cold. Fruit, veggies, ice cream! I still have a problem getting red meat down, especially if I cooked it, or was around while it was cooking. I love hot and spicys from McDonalds. They are not good for you, but every now and then I will give in and get one... with cheese and tomato. Oh my.

Just under 15 weeks to go til we meet Nolan.

Naming Baby

We finally decided on what Baby Remi will be named. It was hard. We knew for sure exactly what we would name a little princess, but for our prince, we had about 14 names we liked.
 
So we have decided to name him Nolan. Nolan Fletcher Lamont Remington. Yes, he will have two middle names, just like my brother.

It feels so much more real now that I can call him a name instead of just baby. My little Nolan. I can't wait to see him, hold him, and kiss his precious little face. Less than four months until he is here!