Thankful

Since today is the last day of November, I thought I should put it out to the world all the things I am grateful for. I have so much in my life to be grateful for, and truly am blessed, through bad times and the good.

First off, the power of modern medicine

On so many levels over the last several years this has been a beautiful thing for me… expensive, but beautiful. I look back at this time last year, and remember how life was so different. I felt like we were beating the fertility horse to death. My life was full of medications, charts, Dr. visits, blood work, ultrasounds, crying, more charting, ovulation tests, pregnancy test, seeing red… more crying, some screaming, some pitty parties, praying, and more praying, sometimes while screaming, other times while crying. I guess is someone could have told me everything would happen in its own time… well scratch that, I heard that many times… if someone could have told me, and I would have allowed my angry, depressed, desperate self to believe it, I would have enjoyed the whole process a little more. Having fertility problems is the most heart wrenching thing a woman can go through. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I am a strong independent woman who doesn’t let many things in life bring her down, but infertility was ugly, unfair, and brutal. I am blessed that I have a successful outcome from it all, because I know there is many woman, and couples who do not, and unfortunately I personally know too many of them. My heart breaks for them every day.

 

On top of my struggles of getting pregnant, I was then dealt the cards of a difficult pregnancy. I knew going into pregnancy that I would be high risk due to other medical issues I have. I knew we would have to pay close attention to everything, and that a few complications could arise. Now I felt like I was always in the doctor’s office while trying to get pregnant… boy, was I in for a reality check when pregnancy started. During my pregnancy I had a normal OBGYN, and a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist following me and baby. I had 12 growth ultrasounds, 29 Non Stress Tests, endless amounts of blood work, an amniotic leak at 32 weeks, and ambulance ride, two hospital stays before delivery, a gallbladder attack at 35 weeks, an early induction at 37 weeks, and a c section. I am thankful for all the doctors and nurses who were by my side doing everything in their power to make me comfortable, and to get Nolan here safely, and keeping mommy safe.

 

My job

My job is wonderful to me. They have been so understanding and patient. They treat me well, pay me great, provide us with unbelievably affordable health insurance, and growth. As hard as it is to be a working mom, I am happy I have the right, and opportunity to work. I will miss out on things in my children’s lives, but they will know I love them just the same, and every moment we have together we will make the best of. I love who I work for, and for the most part what I do. I am grateful for my little work family.

 

My family and wonderful friends that I call family

I have an amazing support system in my life. My parents, brother and sister in law, my in laws, grandparents, and wonderful friends. They have been there for me through thick and thin. Through the great times, and the hardest of them. I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world.

 

My loving husband, best friend, and my beautiful son

I don’t even know where to begin with Craig. I am sure being with me is not always easy, but here he has been by my side for over nine years. Craig is truly amazing. He is so supportive, understanding, patient, and loving. He has become even more amazing to me as I have watched him transition into fatherhood. He loves Nolan more than life itself, and you just watch him light up when he is around him. I couldn’t have picked a better partner in life. He is my best friend, and I love him more than words can express. My son, Nolan. He has brought so much light, and joy to our life. We are so blessed to have him. Being a mom has been a big change, but I love it. All the hard moments are erased away by his precious smile, and beautiful crystal blue eyes. I am excited to watch him grow up, and to someday see the man he will become. He is my fighter, and I am honored to be his mommy. I don’t know how we got so lucky, but I am so happy that he picked us.

 

Count your blessings, never your heartache. Love unconditionally. And always be thankful for everything you have.

 

Happy Holidays.

Better late....

Well... I am a little late on this post, I have been very busy being MOMMY!!

So I would like to announce to the blogger world the arrival of our son, Nolan Fletcher Lamont Remington. Born September 10th, 2012 at 6:44pm. He was 5 pounds 10 ounces and 19 inches long.

We are so happy he is here. I wouldn't take back on struggle, penny, or tear for him. As for the birth story. I was induced at 3pm on Sunday, September 9th. My doctors felt confident we would have him no later then Monday afternoon. I was nervous going to the hospital that day. I had so many mixed emotions. This was not how I ever thought I would do the whole bringing a baby into the world thing. But, as I had learned over the last few years, there was just some things I could not control. This was the best thing for not only Nolan, but me. We had gone over all the options, and this was what was the safest for both of us at this point. Craig and I spent Sunday at the hospital by ourselves. Taking time to enjoy one another in our last hours as just us. We watched movies, talked, laughed, held hands as we starred at the fetal heart monitor. They wanted me to rest as much as possible. I tried to get as much sleep as I could Sunday night. (As much as you can while in labor) At 6am our good friend Brittany started her shift. She had taken this shift just to deliver Nolan :) She came in, and got me hooked up to the pitocin. At 7:30am my Dr. came in and broke my water, and at 8:30am I had an epidural. I thought I was going to be able to go longer without one, but my blood pressure was already climbing. It was a long day. We waited, waited and waited some more. I was having horrible back labor, which an epidural doesn't help much with. I was having so much pressure in my lower back but I was not dilating. By 3 pm I was only to a 4. They turned up the pitocin after talking to me about it. During the next few hours my blood pressure climbed, and Nolans heart rate kept dropping. I was moved into several different positions. At 5:15 my Dr came back to talk to me. She checked me again, still at a 4. She could feel Nolans head try to push out with every contraction, and would watch his heart rate drop. She said she felt pretty confident that Nolan was face up instead of face down, and that the cord was around his neck. She knew I did not want a c section, so she explained to me that at this point she could not force me to have one, but that I have stopped progressing, and my blood pressure is getting into a danger zone, and that Nolan is in distress. She said she could let me keep trying until I needed an emergency c section, or we could just go do it now and get him out and my blood pressure under control. Craig and I talked about it, and decided that it would be selfish to put Nolan in any possible danger, so I agreed to go ahead and do the c section now. As they were wheeling me into the OR I shifted and pulled out my epidural. So they had to re do my whole epidural and wait for it to numb me up high enough. Once that was ready to go they started the removal of Nolan. Where they cut you for a c section is where your babies sholders should be. When my Dr cut me open and got to the placenta and cut, she had baby Nolan looking right up at her. She said that was the first time she had ever seen that during one of her c ssections. The cord was around his little neck, so they pulled that off, pulled him out and cut the cord at 6:44 pm. ( I was super sad Craig couldn't cut the cord, but with c sections things must stay sterile) He cried instantly, which made me feel so much better since while they were taking me to the OR they introduce you to the team that will make your baby breathe since it is common for them to not breathe at first with c sections. Nolan wa perfectly healthly. Craig was in love and so proud. I finally got to hold my angel at 9:05pm. My life felt so fulfilled with him in my arms.

On the way to the operating room.

I love you Nolan. Thank you for making my wishes come true.